Last spring
I did not awaken
from winter’s
death bed.
Come April
I was hidden, and
was not cleansed
by the rain.
The day after was
no pure morning.
It was dark and lonely
and I was in a place
I never want to be again.
Thanks for being a
coward, to drop
the truth.
I would have made
it easier for us
both if you didn’t
make up your mind
that I was gonna speak up.
You should have called
me instead of
messing it up, you stupid
fuck!
Days drag by
and I remember every minute detail.
It’s like I’m watching the same shit
on a big TV screen over and over again.
It haunts my dreams and my waking memories.
And sometimes I hurt myself, ‘cause we both know
this was my fault.
I became another number, another fucking
statistic of teen rape.
I was stupid and you knew it.
Naïve and a shut in. It was easy (too easy)
for you to make your move.
What’s done is done. I can’t take it back.
Letting you into my home and trusting you
to be a friend. It was just too much, I’ll be amazed
if I can ever trust again. But, sometimes things happen
for a reason. . .
And maybe, just maybe I had this coming.
Maybe I’m meant to be a fucked up child.
You didn’t know the beginning of this story,
did you? That I was molested time and time again
before your sorry ass came around?
You just made me wish that I was 6 feet under ground.
I feel like a maggot.
So dirty, feeding off the dead.
I don’t think I’m worthy of anybody’s
attention. But now, I don’t have to even worry
about getting that attention, ‘cause after all,
nobody ever had fun playing with a broken doll.
I did not awaken
from winter’s
death bed.
Come April
I was hidden, and
was not cleansed
by the rain.
The day after was
no pure morning.
It was dark and lonely
and I was in a place
I never want to be again.
Thanks for being a
coward, to drop
the truth.
I would have made
it easier for us
both if you didn’t
make up your mind
that I was gonna speak up.
You should have called
me instead of
messing it up, you stupid
fuck!
Days drag by
and I remember every minute detail.
It’s like I’m watching the same shit
on a big TV screen over and over again.
It haunts my dreams and my waking memories.
And sometimes I hurt myself, ‘cause we both know
this was my fault.
I became another number, another fucking
statistic of teen rape.
I was stupid and you knew it.
Naïve and a shut in. It was easy (too easy)
for you to make your move.
What’s done is done. I can’t take it back.
Letting you into my home and trusting you
to be a friend. It was just too much, I’ll be amazed
if I can ever trust again. But, sometimes things happen
for a reason. . .
And maybe, just maybe I had this coming.
Maybe I’m meant to be a fucked up child.
You didn’t know the beginning of this story,
did you? That I was molested time and time again
before your sorry ass came around?
You just made me wish that I was 6 feet under ground.
I feel like a maggot.
So dirty, feeding off the dead.
I don’t think I’m worthy of anybody’s
attention. But now, I don’t have to even worry
about getting that attention, ‘cause after all,
nobody ever had fun playing with a broken doll.
October Eighth_Plague_Legion Poetry Competition, Tied First Place
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